I Hear It's Nice This Time of Year

Adam (8:29am) Dude! We have 5 people following our blog!

Matt (8:31am) Holy shit! That’s basically like having friends right? I need to call my mom!

Adam (8:37am) I know right? Doesn’t that technically mean I’m married to one of them and the other four are my kids?

Matt (8:39am) Almost. Polygamy is mandatory on the internet, so technically you are married to 3 of them, and then one is your child and one is your mistress/butler. And then there’s a 6th invisible one that’s actually just wind but you have that brain disorder so you think it’s a person.

Adam (8:50am) Polygamy, eh? That means I can have my wife cook, my husband fix the car, and I can sit and have a beer and a lemonade. See I’m a well traveled and diversified man.

Adam (8:52am) AND THE SIXTH PERSON IS REAL!! HE’S TOUCHING ME VERY APPROPRIATELY!

Matt (9:08am) Adam we talked about this. When the wind molests you just cry and then never tell anyone ever. That’s how adults handle things. And as a well traveled man of the world, you need to behave like an adult.

Adam (9:10am) Now is it molestation if its consentual?

Matt (9:13am) Then it’s double molestation. You’re both molesting eachother at the same time.

Adam (9:16am) See that’s what I thought. I might be in trouble. Do you know a good molestation lawyer? Cause the wind police came by asking a lot of weird questions. Like did I touch this and that and whats my relationship with you and our followers…

Matt (9:25am) Did you molest the police to keep them quiet? I can’t go to wind jail Adam, there’s just so much wind there. I don’t even have a jacket, I’ll have to cut open one of our followers and sleep inside them like a Tauntaun. And then I’ll be like “I thought they smelled bad on the outside!” and then we’ll laugh and laugh and laugh.

Adam (9:31am) No I didn’t. There wasn’t an opportunity to molest them. But I did tell them that you don’t like them. And I don’t like them either. And they better watch themselves, we are wanted men. We have the death sentence on 12 systems…. That probably wasn’t a good idea. Well there are five fans to cut up like tauntauns which we can make a mini house in wind jail.

Matt (9:40am) But if we murder all our followers to make a house in wind jail then who will listen to us be hilarious and heap praise on us?

Adam (9:49am) Damnit…. Shelter or people praising our good looks and hilarity… So our ounly option is to molest our fans and have them molest others. Then the wind police will have to deal with the vast outbreak of wind people AND regular people getting molested! Wait… but then they will peobably form a joint effort with the regular police…

Matt (11:47am) ADAM YOU’RE HYSTERICAL!!! YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN! THE POLICE WILL NEVER CATCH US IF WE DIG DEEP ENOUGH INTO THE EARTH!

Adam (12:15pm) YES! BRILLIANT! Wait… How do I know that you’re not gonna bury me after I get in the whole… Unless you are working with the dirt men! You bastard…

Matt (12:33pm) Ok, i WAS planning to bury you to throw the wind police off the trail, but now I promise I won’t. I won’t shovel pound after pound of dirt onto your head until it drowns out your incessent, annoying voice, and then dance on top of your impromptu grave until I collapse from too much joy. I won’t that. Don’t even worry about it. Just start digging.

Adam (12:35pm) Sounds good partner… I’ll just start digging… ignore the whistling sound that’s coming. Cause I didn’t summon the wind police… Nope I did not…

Matt (12:40pm) You traitor! You did summon the wind police! It is now unpleasantly breezy here. I swear if I end up in wind jail I will drown you in an ocean of dirt.

Adam (12:50pm) Ha! I gotcha! Now I will have all the followers! They’ll love me then realize that its not really funny without both of us then lose everything! Hahahhaha!

Matt (12:53pm) That’s how our friendship always ends, murder and disappointment.

Adam (12:58pm) Yes. This is how it ends… Well we should hug it out… Then kill all the wind police and people. And blame it on our fans.

Matt (1:17pm) And then we can move to Mexico and start a new blog!

Adam (2:00pm)YES! MEXICO!! *HEROIC POSE*